Passing away of Stalwart, Atal Bihari Vajpayeeji

RIP Atal Bihari Vajpayeeji, passed away an hour back, one of the tallest leaders of Indian politics. He was one the one who made beloved Dr Kalam the prez. In a matter of 15 days , 2 heavy weight leaders( Karunanidhi) pass away.

Mains 18 approaching

Seriously frustrated with life, vision marks came and there is hardly any improvement from last year's performance. Was ranked 442 from among 650 candidates. Chemistry has already proved to be a time sucker leech, killed me in 2017 and looks like 2018 won't be any different. Time table is not being followed, internet being misused, answers not written, infact wrote practice test for chemistry and it seems a chimpanzee would have got more questions correct. They say only way out is through, but wayout seems to be too long. Time to take a job or ta ship and prepare, passing time at home is becoming difficult day by day.
Its not that I have a habit of wasting time on internet, it's just that there is a strange kind of lonliness which forces me divert my attention and net seems the easiest way out. Ayush's death has also made me fidgety,  forced me to ponder over my life , this exam has deprived me of the quality time which I could have spent with my closest ones, 2 of whom are no longer in this world. How many more years? Atleast the silver lining is I am getting time to spend time with my parents, which is a previlege in such uncertain world.

Preparing for UPSC has taught me to respect my competitors, while preparing for IIT JEE I did not have much sympathetic attitude towards my class mates, but here it's different, I feel for brilliant candidates who are not getting in, sincere candidates failing prelims, is also painful to see. Somewhere I know I may be one of them , what's happening with them now is in store for me in the future.

Wimbledon semifinals :Anderson vs Isner, what a match!!!

Anderson has been fighting since 2nd round,with this match going till 6 hr 36 min, pic says all. "It was a draw but unfortunately one of us had to go through, I know him since 14 years, he has helped me to push my limits  "- Anderson on Isner after the match. A reminder of Isner vs Mahut match , 8 years back, which went for more than 11 hours.

Brazil loses

Missed chances , own goal, brilliant Belgium defence except for few lapses at last+Courtois!! For Brazil Douglas Costa was superb, missed chances Neymar, Thiago Silva, Coutinho, lack lustre performance by Gabriel Jesus.

It's unfair to have Brazil, france , Belgium on same half, next match i.e. France vs Belgium is a virtual final.

Neymar, Coutinho, Marcelo, Thiago Silva, Douglas Costa, Paulinho... With such a fine team it's a pity Brazil is going home early. I wish Dani Alves was there..With Argentina, Germany, Spain already out, Brazil could have capitalised better this opportunity. Neymar misses a chance to get hold of Ballon d OR and world cup, which could have brought him little closer to Messi, Ronaldo, till nw except the match against Mexico he hasn't proved himself to be a match winner..

France vs Belgium, I think France will go through.

World Cup 2018

WC 2018 is eating my time, have been watching all high profile matches including Argentina-France, Portugal-Uruguay, but the time seems to be well spent as all the matches are going so close. Yesterday watched Croatia almost losing out to defiant Denmark (Denmark's goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel almost snatched the game), but thanks to our Barcelona man, Rakitic, Croatia survived. Sad to see Senegal out of tournament, inspite of brilliant performance(out because of fair play :p). I vivdly remember stellar performance of Senegal in 2002 World cup where they even beat defending champion France. The world cup fever had engulfed many in FRI, Dehradun and many kids including me had joined Soccer coaching.(I joined in 2006 too). 2002 world cup was the reason I started following soccer and eventually FC Barcelona all thanks  to  Ronaldinho. :)

I just hope this world cup doesn't become World Cup 2010 for me, where I wasted a lot of time and a crucial month of IIT JEE preparation. Final damage was done by 2011 Cricket world cup which was happening during my board exams, and still regret leaving the English exam early (in excitement I forgot to attempt a book which I found out after reaching home) to watch India vs South Africa match, to my shock when I reached home, I found out the match was the next day( which India lost). My performance in English killed my result and till date, which ever interview I go , I fear interviewer asking me about how I managed to go down from 95.4% in class 10th to 74% in 12th( has already happened in 4 interviews). Final nail in coffin was final India vs Sri Lanka, a week before IIT JEE 2011. This cummulation of errors was finally paid with below potential performance in IIT JEE and ruining my 2 years of painful hardwork ultimately costing me a year.

Watching a match is fine, but I analyzing it ,watching post match discussion is not fine, because it takes the focus away from real purpose, i.e. Civil services. I better mend my ways lest I pay a price in this year's mains, it will be dejavu experience.

                                            As cool as cucumber, Ivan Rakitic ☺☺

Why I love Lionel Messi?

Sacrifice
Skills
Team man
Fitness : In 15 years of career , hardly injured
Not egostic, relationships are more important than career goals: shares penalty with Neymar, Suarez
Patriotic: Chose to play for Argentina, could have easily been part of Spanish team(like Diego Costa) and won a world cup
Humble( never says he's the goat or anywhere near it)
Hunger to improve, each day i have to work to become best version of myself
Focus each day
Simple and disciplined life:  could have spent a extravagant life,  lives a low  profile life
Loyal:, married the 1st girl he dated, (dating a supermodel is not difficult when you are earning multi million euros), loyal to Barcelona, says the only club he will leave Barcelona for is Newell's Old Boys Club, his boyhood club
Motivates his team mates
Doesn't react to criticism, several people have raised questions on his leadership qualities and chided him for not getting a world cup for Argentina, people forget his contribution as a person who took the team to Copa Finals as well as World Cup final in 2014 where he was judged player of the tournament
Reliable: In his roughly 15 years at Barcelona , he has hardly missed a match
Duty is foremost: Took a match off(insignificant game) when he became father, but came back for the next match
Doesn't let his emotions take over him: Never cried when he got Ballon D ors, even in world cup loss he didn't display his pain through tears

Prelims in ruins

Date:3/6/2018, Time 18:18
1st paper was beyond me, the situations which I had heard of are being experienced by me(people qualifying for mais but failing prelims in next attempt) Didn't check the marks, need to see them fast, the reservation to Kotdwar hangs on that. Whatever be the consequence need to face it bravely and judiciously plan out my next step. Hope dies last!!

Date:18/6/2018, Time: 21:33
Getting in range of 98-104 , lot of variations in answer key, many in the same range, just wondering, when i appeared for pre last year after 3 -3.5 months of prep, i performed much better and passed the 1st stage, but here I am after 1yr 3 months of prep and still in a situation where I am not sure whether I will get to write mains this year or not. With so less no. of seats it's impossible for cutoff to below a certain limit( ard 100), because there will always be some set of students who will find the test in their favour + the students who prepare solely for pre further increase the cutoffs, making life difficult for serious mains candidates. This year's easy CSAT can also prevent the cutoffs from going too low unlike last time.

The biggest question is how should i study so as to make sure that I qualify  pre next year for sure. Studying more is one option but certainly more smart effort is required. One thing I understood from this their's pre, there is no substitute for newspaper, the questions which i answered most confidently was a result of my knowldege gained through passionately reading newspapers.. Also my love for travelling(Kodikalnal-man made lake) and tracing train routes also helped.( Bangalore to Delhi Rajdhani , 1st goes towards right towards Hyd, Hyderbad to Nagpur almost straight, Nagpur to Bhopal left, Bhopal to Jhansi litle right, Jhnasi to Delhi left, so ideally Bangalore-Bhopal-Delhi should be in a straight line running parallel to longitude; so Bangalore and Delhi have almost same longitude not Delhi-Hyderabad or Delhi-Nagpur).

So conclusion, is reading just coaching booklets doesn't help, the knowledge acquired from daily observation does help in 2-3 questions, which might be the deciding factor